I bought my lunch today and was eating quietly. My friend joined me soon and we started chatting. During the course I told her, it's my bad time the US economy is not all that great and it sabottages my plans of moving to the US. With utmost clarity she told me the time is always good but I am taking a wrong desicion to move to the US. First I need to be clear about my priorities and success will follow me. How true are her words? She is much younger to me, but still she was an eye opener to me today.

This year I am writing much ahead of my Bday. Well, I received a mail from one of my childhood friends about an estranged friendship. This prompted me to write here much earlier. My memories are fresh in my mind, I remember my childhood days, pampered and at the same time neglected. Here it is an oxymoron. Life can never be full of oxymorons.

I grew up like any other living being, but was distinct in emotions. I was attached and detached for all the right and wrong reason. Again, life is an oxymoron for me. I crossed my school days, drifted to the university. I took up courses which were never related, oh no here's an oxymoron again.

Friends were serious, families were problematic, well the O continues its journey. I gave a screeching halt to my life and said change the patterns of life and make it right. The O shrunk in its size. The mammoth O from my infant days, till my varsity days shrunk. Well, I sighed and thought the O will become non-existent.

Then came the bells; the bells were rung and the O just shifted its sides. Again, I knew the O was not overshadowing me, but wanted to gobble me. Here's the fight, the fight to kill the O. 

I went back and forth in my memory lane. The journey gave me fresh perspectives to life, incidents, memories and experiences. I was drifted and landed in a roller-coaster ride. Now it is still. I felt the silence after a storm. 

The wheel started spinning. I met all the forgotten associates; I got updates from all the estranged relationships, what is happening! People with whom I wanted to connect; people that I wanted to forget; some pampered me; some fumed and fretted by my presence. Same people but in different roles. The ones I wanted to connect were estranged. News poured in about the long forgotten ones, re-kindling fresh memories and wounds, the ones who claimed they cared for me fretted and fumed by my life.

I realized, silently the O has become a mammoth again. Here is the O in front of me within me tormenting me with my memories.  I just asked a question: - O who are you? I am life's circle came the answer and you are in the middle of the circle! I create chaos, and give clarity. Clarity and Chaos: - you are the real O. Why me of all the people? O said: - Well, you see me through your conscious and realize my existence. I am visible to all those who realize me and I diminish my presence after realization. There's no beginning or end to me. I am the eternal!

The O is a circle! Is my life completing the circle and beginning all again? Where is the beginning and where is the end in a circle. I don't need to worry, when the dice are rolled down into my sphere, the O will spin its coin. The cast brings back fortunes, lost memories, bitter experiences and wisdom; the wisdom, to be a silent spectator to the finesse of life. It is life's journey, like wild water rafting, not dangerous with the life jacket called wisdom.

Well.. this is what happened last year. This year, I am still in the middle, but the circle is moving around me. So O what are you offering me this year that's a surprise. The dice will be cast on the Roulette table and I will wait until the dice is cast every day.

I went with my co-workers to Cedar Point, Sandursky. We started at 2 PM from Farmington Hills. I was very prompt in going to the lobby to wait for others to join the trip. All of us are new to this part of the country and to be honest to the US as such. I requested the front-desk assistant for a map to Sandursky from Farmington Hills. To our dismay the printer refused to cooperate with our planned amusement park trip.

The first roller-coaster ride started with handling the printer and taking a print-out. It was a very warm Saturday afternoon. We navigated all our way to Cedar Point. The second ride was at the ticket counter. Our international debit cards refused to work and we pooled money to buy tickets.

We were excited about our rides. I had never been to an amusement park in all my life and since my childhood I am suffering from vertigo. I was determined to defeat my fear. I had never even had a giant wheel ride.

All of us confidently stood in the queue for one of the ride. We never bothered to worry about the twists and turns of the ride and my heart started missing its beat and my mind was clouded whether to be a part of the ride.

I did not want to show my meekness to my co-workers. My turn came to sit in the ride. The assistant helped us to lock the seat belts and the seats as such. I felt as if I was sealed to the seat. The train started chugging and it went to a good altitude for 140 ft. Suddenly, I do not know why it went berserk. It dropped, twisted, turned, wriggled, and turned all of us 180 degrees upside down. I closed my eyes and called the name of my Lord and shrieked and so where others. I forgot that there was a camera in front of me recording my reactions. It went for 2 minutes and suddenly it halted and when I opened my eyes I knew the machine was calm and composed and it was waiting for others to see its might.

We got down and started laughing while discussing our experiences. We went to the counter and there we saw the camera had recorded our reactions. I laughed at myself for being hyper.

In our lives we have several such roller coaster rides, we cry scream and go in frenzy. Unfortunately these rides are not for 2 minutes it is much more than that; perhaps for days, months and years. When we come out of those rides we never reflect on how we were. If at all we can reflect on those like the video footage, all of us might laugh at ourselves for not being a sport, and thinking laterally to handle situations!

I saw Evan Almighty last night on HBO. I was quite keen in watching this movie, because of its promotions and I was impressed by Bruce Almighty. In addition, I recently saw Arai En305-il Kadavul. I liked the Indian version of this movie.

Evan Almighty is rather a boring movie. I was captured by Morgan Freeman's dialogues. If you ask for something to God, you get an opportunity to get it and you have to work towards it. I am not too good at remembering the dialogues. Nonetheless, the essence still lingers inside me.

How true is it? If we pray to God for something, we get several opportunities to get it. All we to do is identify the signs and work towards them. The grace of God lies in our capability to identify opportunities and moving in the right direction.

In such a boring movie, I got this wonderful message.

I travel by train daily to work. Well, I see this as journey by itself changing more than two trains.

I see different people. Some engrossed in their work, some talking and mostly reading. I suppose to be with oneself is all about the British culture.

This week I saw this lady who boarded the train just before my junction to reach home. The lady was emotionally upset, crying, and aggressive. A fellow passenger asked her whether she was okay. The train started to chug out of the platform and the situation became worse. This gentleman sought the help of the train guards but it was futile. In the meantime, the other passengers were wondering what was wrong. A big fat man in a florescent coat walked up and down and stood close to the door.

Suddenly, the train stopped and there was an announcement that the train is returning to the previous station. Oh my god! The selfish one in me said I will miss my connecting train to reach home and cursed the South Eastern Railways for delaying my journey.

The train stopped and when the door opened entered two policemen who spoke to the depressed lady and escorted her out of the train.

This incident has left an impact in me. The lady was never in her brightest of her mood and was upset of something that has happened. Due to her behavior, the train stopped and returned to the previous station. This delay would have affected several of them in the train and I personally missed my connecting train and reached home late.

If one negative situation can cause delays to people with whom we are not connected with, I wondered how much it will impact our loved ones.  Today is the day when I retrospect my life. My negative attitude would have affected my family hurt them and would have slowed down their machines. If a 15 minute delay can make me miss a train, my xx years of life how many delays I would have caused to others!

Today I apologize to all those to whom I have caused delays in life.

Da..To give. Giving is man's biggest virtue. Giving happiness and spreading joy to people around us is the best deed that anybody can do. The more we give, the more we receive. When a teacher shares knowledge, he inadvertently gains more knowledge. When we lend our ears and our listening prowess to people in distress, we become better human beings. When we stop giving and when we are in the receiving end that is the first day to a disastrous world, which will never replenish. Giving begins at home. We share our joys and sorrows with our family, which is the best social network. Giving to family is the fundamental Dharma of a man. When this dharma fails, no other dharma will stand by us in times of need. When values those are instilled and corrected from time-to-time, we emerge as better human beings. When do not give to our family any other gesture that we do to the society is just a farce. The joy of seeing other smile and making others happy within our capacity fills our soul. That is why we say Charity begins at home.